The Showdown at the Mall.

So, today, we decided to take the Alien and The Diva to the Mall.  It started out great, we got to the mall, entered into the food court, and the first thing that hit us was the Smell of Orange Chicken.  That stuff is delicious.  Well, The Commander, The Diva, and Myself, all wanted to get food from the Chinese restaurant. The Alien, in his attempt to disrupt the rotation of the Earth, demanded that he eat something different.  Why would he want to eat something different you might ask.  He is The Alien, he has to go against the grain.  So, The Commander took him over to the Chicken Restaurant, and they ordered processed breaded Chicken, which could have very well been, tofu, The alien didn't even bother with it, he had one piece and ate one of the waffle Cut Fries, and that was it.  Again, he has to go against the grain, and this was only the beginning of the adventure.

So, the Primary mission is to get the Diva some clothes...  Surprise.  Knowing that the Alien and I would rather stab ourselves in the eyes with toothpicks than go clothes shopping for a girl, we opted to go to Gamestop.  Now, we get into Gamestop, and I start scanning over the titles, The Alien see all of the ones that he 'NEEDS' me to buy.  I swear, they put all of the kids games down on the bottom, just to piss parents off.  The Alien, carrying a Monster Jam video game, running toward me, coat flowing like a cape behind him, he bounds over one of the center displays and does a triple backflip landing on his feet.   I am speechless.

"Monster Trucks Daddy," He says, "Buy it!"

"Ummmm, not right now buddy," I manage to spit out after witnessing his amazing aerial stunt.

The lights flicker and Dim, and I see the Aliens eyes start to glow red.  "Monster trucks, Daddy!!!"  Demands the Alien.  I look over my shoulder and see the kid behind the counter is not going to be any help, he got so scared he passed out on the counter, or else he was just playing 'Possum'.  Regardless, I grab one of the Guitar Hero Guitar's and held it up cowering in front of the Alien.  The Alien seeing this as a challenge reaches over and grabs another Guitar, standing still he raises his right hand, and snaps his fingers.  Instantly the lights shut off and the far wall lights up, low and behold, we are having a Guitar Hero showdown.  The Song, Charlie Daniels, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."  As I try to figure out if I am supposed to play this Guitar like a Fiddle or if I am supposed to use it as a Guitar, I just start mashing buttons and I am keeping pace fairly well.   My solo is over and now it is The Aliens turn, the lights from the ceiling start to glow red. Smoke starts to flow from the Aliens fingertips and he turns to me as he is playing and says, "You ain't got nothin' on me fool."  Then smiles and looks back at the wall where the games images are being projected.

The Final Results, after we played for hours, my fingers are bleeding, and I am sick with exhaustion.  The Alien is standing next to me looking at me like I am such a girl, he was not even phased by the showdown.  The Scores flash up onto the screen.

The Alien, it actually said that,

99.95% Complete  *Excellent*...

Daddy, the sucky loser, Unfortunately it said that too.

99.96% Complete.....  *Wait What*  How is this possible....

The Alien turns to me, fire blazing from his eyes, where he used to have hair was now nothing but flames glowing green and yellow.  He raises, his hand, opens it up, looks me in the eye, and says...


"Ok, Daddy.  we can get the game next time, ok."

"Ummmm, ok?"  I reply wearily, "that sounds like a plan buddy."

Timmy OUT!